Early one morning, I sat with my knees pulled to my chest, still in my pajamas’s, staring begrudgingly at my computer screen in the hopes of finishing another 10K before work. I was on my second cup of coffee, though I don’t think any amount of caffeine could have kept my mind focused on the risk factor section of this report. It was a Thursday, I was exhausted, and I wanted to go back to bed.

No, this was the only time I had to do any sort of stock research. If I didn’t finish this 10K now, I was never going to finish it. I have to stay on track, I have to stay motivated, I have to…

I had nodded off. I allowed myself one more breath before I forced my eyes open again. I wanted to go back to bed. I stared noncommittally at the backlit words, and then moved my head closer in an attempt to motivate any amount of focus into the uncompromising text. After a few seconds, I made the momentous effort to move my eyes a few centimeters toward the tiny clock on the right side of the screen. 5:04 AM. Man, I wanted to go back to bed.

Why am I putting myself through this? Is this what investing is? Forcing myself to wake up at the literal butt-crack of dawn just to nod off at my computer? I would be lying if I said this didn’t feel like a waste of time.

After my first year of investing, I hadn’t made much progress. Sure, I had read a ton of books, and I was far more knowledgeable about finances than I was before starting this endeavor, but I hadn’t made any money, nor had I really invested in anything. When a began learning about investing, I thought that after a week or so I would start to generate some kind of compounded income, or at least a dividend, or something.

Turns out, that’s not how investing works. I was starting to get burnt out.

“Value” Investing & The Time Commitment

I wanted to take all of the gambling, all of the uncertainty out of investing. Luckily, there are people who invest like that. They’re usually referred to as “value” investors. I say “value” because sure, investors like Graham, and Buffett, and Munger, look for “valuable” companies, but isn’t everyone looking for “valuable” companies? I wanted certainty above all else. Graham, and Buffett, and Munger also want certainty. While they look for value in their companies, they’re not going to invest on value alone. To increase the likelihood of actually making money, you needed to buy a valuable company that is “on sale”. That’s the most important bit, buying a great company below intrinsic value. That’s what I wanted to do.

The only downside to this style of investing? You need to do a ton of research, and that research was taking me forever.

On average, I was spending a few weeks researching just one company. Over the course of those few weeks, I went through ten years worth of finances; I read as many Annual Reports, Quarterly Reports, and Shareholder Letters that I could get my hands on. I made Excel sheets comparing their growth to their competitors, I researched their managers and read about past pitfalls the company had worked through. I compared my research to analyst reports, and I tried to think of all the possible reasons not to invest.

After all that combing, I usually did decided not to invest. Poor growth prospects, changing management, or too much uncertainty were the most common reasons. In the rare likelihood that I did find a company I wanted to buy stock in, I usually then discovered that the company was WAY to overpriced. Too many people had already come to the same conclusion that I had. As a result, I was one year in, and I still hadn’t invested a single cent. I was at a loss of what to do.

One morning, at 5:04 AM, I finally submitted defeat. Why am I even doing this? All this research, all this deliberating and questioning and self-doubting just to wait? At this rate, I am never going to make money in the stock market. It just seems too hard, too saturated, and way too overpriced. What was I thinking?

Don’t Let the Market Get You Down

I suppose this probably has something to do with human psychology, but after awhile, too much effort toward a goal without short-term progress makes the effort seem pointless, and annoying, and the goal seemingly unattainable. I was about to hit a wall head-on and I couldn’t find the emergency break. Looking back, there are two reasons why this happened.

First, I started my investing journey at a time when the market was nearing all time highs. We were in the roaring post-Covid twenties. The market was doing incredibly well, the S&P had returned more than 20%, and companies were relishing the high consumer spending and inflationary rates. Because of this, it was nearly impossible to find any company on sale.

Secondly, I was in a position of desperation. I had a warped view of what my life should be, and part of that view involved spending money like nobody’s business. I wanted to travel, and spend all of my time at coffee shops and restaurants and fancy markets. I wanted to start all these new hobbies, and live my life to the fullest. Hey, I was also in my roaring twenties.

I say this view of my life was warped because I had convinced myself that happiness came from doing expensive things, and doing expensive things required money. Social media, I think, had an influence on this mindset, along with boredom and a need for distraction.

Because of this mindset, I had decided that I would lock myself in my room and have no fun, and spend no money until I started to make a living from stock investing. Partly, I wanted to save money so that I could invest more, but also, I wanted to prove to myself that I could figure out how to make money from the market. Making a sizable return felt like a challenge, and spending the money I made would be the reward.

The Balancing Act

All this to say, don’t do that. Buy the coffee, take the trip, get a part time job if you have to. Better to be patient and happy than shrivel to the punity of far reaching goals and society’s ruthless capitalistic beatings.

I’ve since learned to recognize when I need to slow down, or take a break from all this investing stuff. I’ve also learned to grant myself a few rewards every once in awhile, within reason of course. It all comes down to balance I suppose…

Speaking of which, I think it’s time for a iced strawberry matcha latte.